Someone once asked me if they should leave their fiance because she found out he watched porn behind her back. It made her feel insecure and ugly knowing this... and all the more likely to eat for comfort.
I said that watching porn does not seem to be a good enough reason to end a relationship... or eat compulsively! Plenty of relationships survive -- and even thrive -- when one or both partners watch porn.
The question is: how’s the rest of your relationship? Does he show you love in other ways? Is he kind and considerate? Do you enjoy each other's company? How’s your sex life? Do you communicate well?
How does HE make you feel insecure and ugly? Does he say you look ugly compared to those women? Does he make any disparaging remarks about your body? If so, this is abusive, and I could understand why you wouldn’t want to be with him.
Love should transcend cellulite, when the relationship is fulfilling in other ways.
If he does not insult you, then you are doing it to yourself. Insecurities about your “imperfect” body are leaking into the relationship, yet you are blaming him, and wanting to control him into not watching.
It might be best not to discuss it, since he has the good sense to do it behind your back and not in front of your face... although it might be fun to have a sexual encounter while watching porn together!
Evaluate your relationship to see if it is healthy, enjoyable and comfortable. If you conclude that it’s fine except for this, I advise you to accept it and be glad that he’s not having sex with porn stars (or others); only watching them on a screen!
Another idea is to find out what turns him on and do a little role-playing yourself. Hey, you might even enjoy it!
Of course if you evaluate your relationship to find that he is abusive or demeaning towards you, get out or get help. Comfort eating only allows the situation to continue, without taking positive action.
Here is the number for a 24-hour hotline -- 1-800-799-7233. It's available in all 50 states and translators are available.
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